I've been to a few graduation parties over the past few days. Its usually a great way to reconnect with old friends and see people who you haven't talked to in a really long time. But to make things awkward, I've had so many people ask about the band. "I love your music!" says one person I know. "I bought all of your stuff on iTunes and listen to it all the time! When will your full length be coming out?" It makes my stomach turn when I have to tell people about the choices I've made. It causes me pain to think about the friendships I formed with the other members of the band and how they have dissolved completely over the past few months. No more are those late nights of me lying in bed, wide awake after a show, with my ears ringing and pulse pounding. It was such a big part of my life. And as lame as it sounds, I've had issues with letting it go.
This afternoon at a graduation party, there was a local cover band playing. Between songs the host yells, "Have you guys ever heard of that band, (fill in my band's name here *privacy*)?" And I'm thinking "Yeah right lady. You really think they will have ever heard of us?" Much to my surprise, the lead singer goes, "Yeah...(pause) as a matter of fact I have! Great songwriting! I even went to one of their shows a year back when they opened for (insert headliner here) and I left being more impressed with them than (insert headliner here)!"
I just melted inside. I can't even believe that something I've been so quick to just want to leave in the past has left such a lasting impression on so many people. Who knows what will happen to the band, but the bottom line is this: Music lasts forever. After tonight, I'm a little bit more grounded and remember that I believe everything happens for a reason. I could write an entire blog post on my view of "fate" but I'll spare that for now.
I'm a piano player, it was my first "musical love" I guess you can say. For those who don't know, a piano is made up of hammers and strings that give the piano sound. I love playing, I will always love playing. I'll leave you with a song by the band Jack's Mannequin that describes this aspect (and other aspects) my life right now. Plus, its pretty much been stuck in my head all day:
These hammers and strings been following me around
From a box-filled garage to the dark punk rock clubs of one thousand American towns
And my friend calls me up, she says "How have you been?"
I say "Dear I've been well! Yeah, the money's come in, but I miss you like hell.
I still hear you in this old piano"
She says, "Andy, I know that we don't talk as much but I still hear your ghost in these old punk rock clubs. Come on, write me a song. Give me something to trust. Just promise you won't let it be just the keys that you touch."
Give me something to believe in.
A breath from the breathing. So write it down, I don't think that I'll close my eyes.
'Cause lately I'm not dreaming, so what's the point in sleeping?
Its just that at night, I've got nowhere to hide.
So I write you a lullaby.
These hammers and strings been following me around.
Behind passenger vans, through the snow, dirt and sands, of one thousand American towns.
And my friend calls me up with her heart heavy still
She says, "Andy, the doctors prescribed me the pills.
but I know I'm not crazy, I just lost my will.
So why am I? Why am I taking them still?
Give me something to believe in.
A breath from the breathing. So write it down, I don't think that I'll close my eyes.
'Cause lately I'm not dreaming, so what's the point in sleeping?
Its just that at night, I've got nowhere to hide.
To the sleepless this is my reply:
I write you a lullaby.
Goodnight. Sleep well. Peace.
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