Thursday, July 16, 2009

So I left you hanging...what I've been up to since.

Well, its pretty obvious that I was in a pretty low mood the other night when I made that post. But basically, I've been super frustrated with a lot of things lately: school, work, friends, fraternity responsibilities, girls, etc. (fill in the blank). I guess you could say its just been a giant clusterf**k of stuff thats been brewing and as a result I've spent the past few days really frustrated. Which I've come to find is pretty pointless because it distorts my thoughts of everything around me and prevents me from being the fully productive, capable, loving person I expect myself to be. But in my defense, I guess we all sort of have our moments. But that's all I have to say for that.

Moving right along on the update train...I've had a lot going on these past few days. Firstly, I saw a really (and I mean REALLY) bad sci-fi action flick. Ever heard of the movie Blade Runner? Well, I don't recommend it. At first I was like, "ok, this is something I wouldn't normally watch so its good that I'm experiencing something new." Plus, I saw that it had Harrison Ford in it and I know he is, indeed, a respectable actor. So I thought "this might be good." WRrrrong. Underneath the cheap gore, crappy synth music, and bad acting/narration on Ford's part, I'd have to say that this movie was pretty pointless in relaying any sort of message about our future and how humanity will live and work with artificial intelligence (which is, safe to say, what the goal of many sci fi works anyway). So moral of the story: Don't watch Blade Runner...haha.

Last night, I went to the hookah bar with two of my fraternity brothers. We usually go on Wednesdays because they have specials on drinks (we're college students and into saving money so why the hell not?). Plus its nice to go out and just relax in the middle of a work filled week. This place has comfy couches, dim lighting, some of my favorite alt rock music (Coldplay, John Mayer, Something Corporate, The Bravery, Jack's Mannequin). A relaxing place right? Absolutely. Well, it changes drastically at around 10 pm. So what happens? First of all, it becomes BRO city with your typical meat-head, sideways flat brimmed hat wearing, fluorescent colored shorts, thong sandal wearing douche bags. They're all really loud, drunk, and obnoxious dudes. Eh, whatever. Then a bunch of underaged high school girls come in and its like a family reunion in the middle of the entire bar as they all scream loudly and greet each other. They're cute and all but unfortunately they're obnoxious as hell. And my brothers who are with me agree. Lastly, the music takes a big hike in decibel level and the soulful sounds of John Mayer and Death Cab for Cutie turn into thumping hip/hop/club/dance music that makes your head feel like its going to explode. Now, with my personality, I'm much more likely to sit there with the chill music in the background and try to have a real conversation with the people who have gathered around the table with me. But that's not how its going to be. Oh well, not much I can do about it. So about 20 minutes later, these two really cute girls come over and sit down next to us. We all introduce ourselves and they do the same. We get a good conversation started up and they're going to stick around and hang out with us they say. So...we get some drinks for everyone at the table. Then the girls go "we're still thirsty". They seem cool enough, me and my brothers agree, so we go ahead and get another round. Then ANOTHER round. We're having a pretty good time getting to know these girls and then they go to the "bathroom". We sat there and waited another 20 minutes and they never showed back up. NOT cool. We were completely taken advantage of. Stood up.

That is so wrong and unfair. If you're a girl out there reading this, I'm begging you: Don't ever do that to guys. All we wanted to do is have a good time and enjoy the company of these girls and they ripped us off. Just take note. But you know what, today I woke up and I'm over it. Yeah it sucks, but there's no point in losing sleep over it. So life goes on. I just hope I meet better people in the future.

Today, I woke up and went for a run. After that, I did some good hard house cleaning. I've been off a few days this week (rare for me, keep in mind) so when I'm not at work, I make a point to make improvements around the house. So last night I made a phone call to the head of custodial services for my college campus (nice people by the way) and asked if they would come haul away two of our fraternity house's old grills and an old sofa chair. They told me they'd come out the following morning. So when I got back from my run this morning, there were two guys with a big truck loading up the junk! Awesome! After they were finished, I cleaned the entire side driveway of the house. This included sweeping up all of the dead leaves mixed with vomit and beer cans and scooping them into the trash. I also swept off the front and side paver patios of our house and I have to say: they have never looked so good! My other goal for today: Hang our house's new 58 inch plasma screen TV. I've got to go get a hammer drill to do this though...But I feel extremely productive and this makes me really happy.

So that's really about it in terms of what I've been up to. My family will be coming in this weekend and we're going to go to a really awesome museum and hit up a ball game and get some good food at some of my local restaurants. My sister is going to stay in the house with me while my parents get a hotel...should be interesting. Yikes.

So my final thought. I'll confess that part of the reason I was so upset the other night is that I miss people. Friends (old and new) who I'm not near this summer. Here's the thing: I really try to keep up with people from school and people from home. I call people a lot. I write people a lot. And I feel like nobody really gives a damn about what I'm up to this summer. Maybe not even that so much....just the fact that no one has ever really called me up to say "what's new?" or "how are things going up there?" My family, who lives 250 miles away from me, doesn't even really do it and I get sort of pissed about it. It kind of hurts, actually. I'm pretty sure people don't realize it, and mean nothing by it but it frustrates me nevertheless.

Goal for the next post: Less venting. Less talking about my social life. More talking about something profound?? Eh. I'll work on that one. Maybe I'll have a funny story for next time. For those who read this far: thanks. I promise I read everyone else's blog, and I really enjoy it.

Hope everyone's doing okay out there, wherever you are. Here's to what's left of summer! Peace.

Monday, July 13, 2009

How do I put this?

I'm not in a good mood right now, at all. I feel very...conflicted and angry. The worst part is, there are so many things running through my mind and I've just been trying to make sense of it all this entire evening. Not even absolute silence is helping. All I can really say: I feel so alone right now. Maybe more on this later when I can make more sense of my thoughts. But right now, I need to try to sleep and I'm not entirely sure that's possible.

Goodnight.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

What I've Grown to Learn So Far This Summer.

I need to do more for myself, in terms of having fun this summer. So far, all I can legitimately say I've done is worked, researched, worked some more, and gone to class. Reminder: Yes. I asked for all of this. This is what I wanted. Therefore, do I really have the right to complain about any of it? Not so much. And I'm not really complaining I suppose, just coming to the realization that I can, and must allow, for some fun things to happen during the summer. 

So this past weekend I went to the beach for an entire day and had a great time. Got a little sunburnt, but at least I got some vitamin D because I don't see the sun much where I live. Went to this roadside hot dog stand afterwards and ate some good, fried, LDL loaded, artery clogging food. Excellent indeed. The day after, I went ice skating at the recreation center with a few friends. Then, since it was a nice day, took a drive over to an outdoor shopping mall and did some walking around to enjoy the weather a little bit. Ended up buying an expensive pair of jeans, but oh well. Its nice to enjoy a little of your money now and then. 

And now that I've written about all of this, I've come to another realization: there is nothing terribly exciting about my summer. Yet, I'm not really unhappy. I think this summer has been HUGELY self improvement, which I am a big fan of. And so far, I feel like I've been successful in that respect. Between improving my nursing knowledge, going to class, learning the ropes of research, working out and going through self taught fiscal responsibility, I feel like I've come miles in just a short amount of time. 

Luckily, I got a phone call a few days ago from my mom. Now, I have to admit, I love my mom to death but she will call you to say something that only takes 3 minutes and end up talking for 30! Oh boy. Anyways, she called to tell me that we (my family) are going on vacation for a week and that I should schedule off of work in advance. I was even more pleased to hear that they bought me a plane ticket so I wouldn't have to go the extra long distance since I'm not living at home anymore. I was very pleased about this and am really looking forward to going away in a month. 

I have so far to go. In general. Take that as you will. But its only the understanding of how far I've come that will keep me motivated. Think I'm going to go out with some of my brothers tonight. I need it. But my challenge to myself and everyone else: don't forget to make time for yourself. It will keep you sane in the long run. I'm guilty of losing sight of this often. So again and again, I remind myself. 

One more thing: to those of you who blog - I haven't seen much blogging lately! Write! I really want something to read and I want to know how you're doing. If you don't blog, well...maybe you should. Its therapeutic. I feel better already :) 

Hope to hear from you soon. Peace!